I’m excited for today’s reflection as it will a be a little different from my most recent posts. I have taken inspiration from one of the principals in yogic philosophy known as “compassionate truthfulness” or in Sanskrit, satya. Satya has a particularly special place in my heart because of the role it has played in my own healing and I believe it is the key to unlocking the door to healing in all of us.
The practice of satya is to align you with the integrity of your soul. To live from the truth of who you are is to return to wholeness. Satya teaches us that our inner truths aren’t something to be afraid of or to run away from. They are the arrow that guide us to our healing, freedom and inner light.
Below I will share the different components of cultivating satya and how to implement it with a daily 7 minute practice.
Let’s start with an acronym:
S aftey - create safety within by cultivating compassion
A ttunement - attune to your internal messages to listen inward
T ogetherness - build a relationship with all parts of yourself
Y ielding - yield to w to let go of resistance
A cceptance - accepting your whole self as you are
Safety
Compassion creates internal safety which allows for your inner truths rise up. Compassion is the attitude through which you approach and turn toward yourself. It’s a deep presence within. A sacred with-ness.
Compassion says, “hello dear one, I’m here. Let’s be together. Whatever you have to tell me, I’m here to listen and be with you. If you don’t have words, that’s ok. We can sit here in the silence together.”
When you turn towards your pain in this way there’s a sacred shift that takes place. You disarm your own walls. The real you can finally come forward. You break open. You find the deepest truth of who you are beneath all of the layers. Through compassion, your true self will bravely arise.
Attunement
Your body is the medium through which your nervous system, emotions and subconscious speak to you. It is crucial to learn to interpret its cues. Attunement brings presence of mind to what is going on inside of you. Attunement asks: What is my inner wisdom trying to communicate to me? Perhaps you notice a shift in your mood or energy; you maybe feel tired or sad and don’t know why. This is your invitation to tune in and get curious.
What sensations do you notice? Check in with your neck, throat, shoulders, chest, and belly. Is there tension? Stiffness? Restriction to your breathing?
When you notice these physical sensations, ask yourself: what is my body trying to communicate with me? Is there an emotion attached to the sensation? Create space for the feeling. Just notice what is. As you practice this, you will learn to interpret what your body is communicating with you.
Togetherness
Togetherness brings nurturing care to your innermost self and it is the antidote to self-abandonment. Togetherness says: Hi dear one, I know you’ve had to navigate scary things on your own before. But this time you don’t have to. You’re not alone. I am here.
You cannot live in the truth of who you are if you reject parts of ourselves. Holding sacred presence with these parts allows you to build a relationship with them. As you practice presence, you will come to learn that none of these parts of you were ever anything to be ashamed of, they only ever needed to be held with loving safety.
The next time you notice unkind dialogue in your mind, pause and ask yourself: What does this part need? Is she scared? Ashamed? Lonely? Hold the togetherness. You don’t need fixing. Your emotions don’t need problem solving. They need your presence.
Yield:
To yield is to surrender. It means letting go of trying to control the pain, change it, fix it, or lesson its intensity. In the beginning these experiences might feel like a tsunami; your emotions might roar. The longer they’ve been suppressed, the stronger they will feel at first. This is how you know you’re on the right path. It may feel like everything is falling apart. But in reality, you are breaking open. This is where the truth is felt and the true you is found.
The pain will not release until it is met fully. By exploring these inner truths, you discover the wisdom within that will lead you out of the shadows, like a lantern lighting the way.
Acceptance:
All of the above steps help lead to the deep, nourishing state within: acceptance. Where there has been self-rejection and suppression, acceptance mends these parts back together. While resistance binds us to our suffering, acceptance is what loosens our grip and softens our inner tensions. Your spirit can exhale in the arms of acceptance.
Resistance is built upon judgment and fear; acceptance is built upon trust and surrender. While acceptance doesn’t necessarily take away the pain or solve all our problems, it is the place where inner peace is found. Acceptance says: I do not need to be perfect to be loved, cherished, and honored. Acceptance begins with yourself…and watch as it naturally extends out to those around you.
The practice of Satya is a profoundly courageous one. It is beautifully raw and tender; meeting the deepest parts of yourself is fulfilling and enlightening and at times, the most gut wrenching. As you deepen your practice, the more aligned you become. Your integrity and intuition are strengthened. This will always, always, guide you Home.
Below is a daily practice to start implementing by using the wisdom of your body—your body always tells the truth. This inner attunement is what allows you to interpret its messages.
Daily 7 minute practice:
Read through the practice, then begin.
First thing every morning close your eyes. Place one hand on your belly, one hand on your heart. Sway side to side, like a tree flowing in the wind. This signals inward safety, comfort and connection.
Invite in compassion.
Turn your attention to the centerline of your body: your throat, upper chest, belly. Notice if there are any sensations in these areas of your body. Tension in your jaw. Raised shoulders. Restricted breathing. As you exhale, bring the intention of relaxing your body. Take a few moments to feel into the centerline.
This centerline is your core, like the trunk of a tree.
From this place of internal connection, attune your awareness to your entire body, to the felt sense: do you feel achy, hollow, itchy, relaxed, expanded, warm (click here for a sensory list)? Allow these sensations to be, just as they are. Notice where you feel them in your body.
Ask yourself:
What do I need in this moment to feel safe?
Attune. Let your inner knowing speak. Continue to notice any sensory feedback, emerging images, or thoughts.
Spend a few breaths here, holding the togetherness.
Soften your shoulders and your jaw.
Remind yourself you are here to fully accept and embrace whatever comes up.
Gently yield to the process of presence.
It is safe to just be.
Does your inner voice reveal anything?
Stay a few moments here, 3 - 5 breaths.
When your practice feels complete, finish with one full breath, extending your exhale all the way out. Feel free to jot down any notes.
Remember, this is a practice, not a performance. You are not searching for answers, you are creating space for presence. Perhaps nothing will reveal itself in the moment, but by bringing presence to your body this gives your inner wisdom a voice. She will reveal herself when she is ready. Set the intention to stay attuned throughout the day.
May you live in truth.
May you know love.
May you remember your Wholeness.
I choose peace
I choose peace..
in the sacred unknowing
in the sacred resistance
in the sacred change
in the sacred fear
in the sacred joy
in the sacred gratitude
in the sacred impermanence
in the sacred beautiful
in the sacred gift that is
to be alive
I cultivate peace
Where there is resistance, I lean into discomfort and soften
Where there is uncertainty, I trust the unfolding and believe
Where there is discomfort, I welcome her in, like an old wise friend
Where there is doubt, I turn toward fear - curiously, tenderly, bravely
Where there is urgency, I let go and choose presence - this moment, this breath
Where there is anxiety, I release gripping and let all be
I embrace peace
as I listen to the wind, swaying softly among the trees
as I feel the sun, tingling my skin with energy and warmth
as I see the setting sun, changing colors striking and soft
as I touch the earth with my own bare feet
as I smell the air fresh and anew
as I savor the simplicity of this moment - here and now
as I connect to the cadence of this breath
The rhythm of life
What is peace?
Peace is all of those things -
But most of all
She is the quiet, gentle embrace of every ripple and wave and each moment surrendered
May you soften
May you release
May you embrace
May you abide in peace
a soft surrender
healing happens in the soft surrender throughout the day
in the small moments when the mind is inclined to grip or control
but the soul softly whispers
dear one, it is safe to surrender
as the wave is embraced by the arms of Mother Ocean
ebbing, flowing
fluid, free
a reminder
there is no gripping or grasping
where there is peace
a soft surrender
a rhythmic flow
to the quiet wisdom
of stillness below
to control life is to control the ocean
but she was never meant to be contained
she is boundless
she is free
this is where her strength reigns
to master life, is to surrender
a gentle, trusting letting go
to the serenity of the ocean
where daughter Wave returns Home
Sunflowers in Siena + 3 Mindful Moments
Ciao from Firenze! Can you believe it’s already the fourth week of April!? I hope wherever you are spring has sent you warm sunshine and flourishing flowers!
This week I wanted to share a short reflection. I am currently in the process of writing a more involved article which will take a bit more time, but I wanted to pop in and say a quick hello with a little life update and some food for thought to take with you this week!
Let’s get into it!
This past weekend was Easter—La Pasqua. I spent the morning at a beautiful procession at il Duomo with a dear friend, followed by a delicious lunch overlooking Ponte Vecchio and of course…gelato! By the way, my new favorite combination: dark chocolate and espresso. MOUTH WATERING!!! (Sorry, for my US folks, not trying to make you jealous).
Here in Italy, the Monday after easter is also recognized as a holiday—because..why not? It’s called “Pasquetta” or little easter. Pasquetta is about togetherness with friends and family spent out in nature, picnicking, barbecueing, and welcoming the arrival of spring. Basically, it’s just another excuse to continue to enjoy la bella vita. Because I didn’t have school for this holiday—and admittedly, I forgot all of my friends in the US went right back to work—I decided to take a day trip to Siena.
Siena has a very different energy than Firenze which was a nice change of pace for me. I loved the rustic atmosphere. The streets are quaint and it has a very “homey” feeling (other than the fact that when you turn random corners you may come across an ornate Duomo or lively Piazzas. That’s beside the point).
There’s an effortless beauty and simplicity about Tuscan culture—stunning overlooks, sunflower decor, Chianti wine. Siena felt authentic, traditional, full of quality products… and of course the warm, welcoming feeling that Italians are known for. Like a hug for the soul!
This trip reminded me just how important it is to change up routine from time to time and pursue new experiences. It brings adventure and excitement and new connections with people I wouldn’t otherwise meet. This is applicable no matter where you live — trying out a new restaurant or park or reaching out to an “acquaintance” to get to know them better. New experiences expand our life. I learn this more and more everyday.
That said, I’ve also been pursuing some other professional goals and new certifications. I have some exciting plans for what I hope to do with my website here. Which…might include a…newsletter!? That’s the goal.
The more I continue to learn yogic philosophy, the healing wisdom of nervous system regulation, and different mindfulness practices (foreshadowing: stay tuned for the next post!!!), the more I realize just how important it is to share this knowledge with others. It’s just too life-changing to keep to myself!
That said, let’s get into today’s quick reflection!
Lately I’ve been focusing my energy on my daily intentions and habits. I’d call it an inward inventory and I’ve found it really fosters more self-awareness around the habits and behaviors that feed me and the ones that don’t nourish my inner-light.
Below are 3 different practices that will take less than 7 minutes daily. In honor of spring, this will continue the process of “spring cleaning” — which, to me, are habits that ignite radiance and energy (more on that in this article: Cultivating Inner Spring: The Garden of Your Soul).
The first 2 practices are intended to be done in the morning.
Practice #1: Breath of Joy
This practice is playful and energizes the body. Read through the directions and then try it yourself! I recommend doing it in the morning or whenever you need a mood or energy boost.
Come to a standing position with your feet hip width apart
On an inhale, reach your arms up to the sky
As you exhale, bend your knees slightly and lower your chest to your thighs, simultaneously swinging your arms behind you
As you inhale, bend your knees a little bit more into a mini squat (chair pose) and reach your arms back up
As you exhale, keep your arms up and lower your squat another inch or so
On your next inhale, repeat the sequence, starting with straightening your legs and extending energy through your arms and fingers, like you’re ready to launch!
Repeat 3 to 5 cycles, each time building more energy: think expansion
This is my personal variation of breath of joy because I find it to be a bit more dynamic and playful. If you’d like a slightly different variation, I’ll link another option too. As you might notice, this video does not include squats. (I guess there’s always a part of me that will be a trainer at heart!): Breath of Joy.
Practice #2: Morning Inventory
Healing happens when self-compassion meets self-awareness.
Take a few moments to write out how you’re feeling: mood, energy, and any thoughts or stressors on your mind. This practice helps to compassionately bring thought patterns that might not be so helpful to your awareness, and then releases them out of your brain and body and on to paper.
Today I’m feeling…* (see note below)
My energy is…* (see note below)
Right now what’s on my mind…
From here, place your hands on your heart. Take a few breaths, and ask yourself: what do I need today to support my well-being? Let your heart speak and guide the way.
From this place of awareness, choose one thing you can do today to honor that need. For me this often means sacred rest practices like Yoga Nidra in the afternoon; or taking more time to journal and reflect. Listen to what you need.
*Feeling index:
Be specific. Below is an index of feelings that can help pinpoint different emotions:
Joyful: content, inspired, excited, cheerful, enchanted, grateful
Sad: disappointed, disheartened, empty, numb
Love: accepting, calm, centered, open
Fear: worried, triggered, paralyzed by thoughts
Shame: inadequate, self-conscious, regretful, unworthy
Anger: agitated, annoyed, envious
Stressed: burnt out, depleted, overwhelmed
Alive: vibrant, whole, free, aligned
*Energy index:
Be descriptive. Your energy is more than just physical. It’s mental, emotional and spiritual as well. Below is a word index to help:
Achy, buzzy, blocked, constricted, tense, trapped, tingling, scattered,
Flowing, light, radiating, spacious, alive, awake, expanded, tender
Practice 3: Sunday Stillness
This practice is about boosting the feel good moments each week. Choose one day per week to do this practice.
Ask yourself the following 2 questions:
What felt good this week? How can I prioritize recreating those moments this upcoming week?
(This inventory can range from the people you connected with, how you spent your time, the foods you ate, how you engaged your mind, what you read, etc.)
What were some things that didn’t feel so great? How can I minimize those things this week?
Of course there are situations and scenarios outside of our control, however we can minimize what we focus our thoughts on and we do have control over our behaviors and where we place our energy. This inventory includes anything that increased stress and anxiety, felt depleting, anything that didn’t boost your energy (food, people, thoughts, behaviors).
As someone who tends to be a bit perfectionistic…I have found liberating to focus my energy on my overall habits and how I do things, rather than every micro-moment each day. It’s better to eat Oreos with mindfulness and presence, than it is to scarf down a salad while reading the news. The things we do to nourish our nervous system will have a powerful impact on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
More radiance.
More aliveness.
More peace.
I hope you find these practices helpful! I’m excited to share more knowledge on the areas I’ve been focusing my professional development on with you soon!
Sending love and serenity,
Colleen
Embracing Restlessness: A 5 Minute Meditation
Whenever I tell people I teach meditation, the first thing I hear is “Oh, I cannot meditate. My mind goes everywhere!”
I love this answer because within this exact response is the practice.
What gets in the way of our meditation practice is not that our minds think - that’s what the mind does! What gets in the way of our meditation practice is believing that our mind is supposed to stop thinking. There is a difference between having a meditative focus—the mind of a monk—and having no thoughts. The difference is the meditative focus is trained by the practice of working with the inner workings of the mind, not fighting it. The beautiful truth is that, the more distracted you are, the more opportunity you have to strengthen your internal awareness. This is how the meditative focus is trained.
The truth is, sitting with the restlessness can be very uncomfortable.
It’s why we struggle to let ourselves rest before our to-do list is completed.
It’s why we struggle to rest even when our body is tired.
It’s why we struggle to fall asleep at night even after a long day.
It’s why we struggle to sit in meditation when the mind has nothing to grasp except itself.
The restlessness continues to build up, up and up…and we experience this in the mind and body as a need to be doing something; we experience it in our body aches and muscle tension; in our cravings (both physical and emotional), and discontentment. You see, all of these things are simply distractions rippling in the ocean of your mind.
Restlessness is merely a distraction.
But it is also an invitation.
Because if there is restlessness, there is also restfulness.
If we learn to embrace the discomfort—rather than avoid or resist it—something magical happens…it slowly, softly, gently…loosens its grip. In this quiet surrender and gentle embrace we discover true restfulness.
However, in order to practice in a way that isn’t harmful—yes, you read that right—we cannot push through or strain our way through meditation. Fighting your mind is counterproductive. This only reinforces the energy and agitation of the mind.
Discipline, yes.
Commitment, yes.
But above all:
gentleness
curiosity
compassion
Without these things—gentleness, curiosity, compassion— your restlessness will remain restless. Your inner-tensions will remain tense. Your turbulence will remain turbulent. These are all manifestations of the same thing.
So the question isn’t: How do I get my mind to stop thinking?
The question is: What is my restlessness distracting me from?
Only you can answer this, dear one.
The answer is inside you.
So, with that said, let’s practice together:
Embracing Restlessness
A 5 Minute (or less) Meditation:
Hello restlessness, I see you, and I welcome you in to today’s practice however you show up. We will sit together and get to know each other.
Find a comfortable position.
Sway side to side, feeling the weight of your body shift left to right.
Then come to stillness.
Feel your sit bones on the surface beneath you.
Lengthen your spine. Grow tall, like a tree.
Notice the sturdiness of the ground below you.
Relax your forehead and jaw.
Release your neck and shoulders.
Let your arms fall heavy by your side.
Soften.
Bring your awareness to the sensations in your body.
Notice the temperature of the air on your skin or the material of your clothes.
Feel your breath coming into and out of your body.
Sense your own heartbeat—perhaps you can feel its pulse in your chest or finger tips.
Every heartbeat, a precious reminder that you are alive.
Rest here in the awareness of your internal landscape.
Inhale, exhale.
Choose one sensation to focus on in your body: your breath, the air on your skin, your heartbeat, your sit bones on the ground, etc.
This is your anchor.
Rest in silence here.
Notice.
Observe any restlessness.
Is there an inclination to scratch an itch?
Are there feelings of boredom, craving or emptiness, desire or discontentment?
Without a need to change or resist the movement of your mind, gently, curiously observe.
Welcome it all in.
Let it sit with you.
Embrace it with care.
Stay in the discomfort, the sensation, the inclination to change or fix anything for 1 breath, 2, maybe 3.
No forcing.
No need to fight your mind.
If you can remain in the restlessness for 10 seconds - that is all you need.
If you sense strain internally, that is your invitation to finish the practice.
Your mind and body have done what they need to do.
Take a moment to thank your restlessness for visiting you. Your restlessness is the path. With commitment and patience, this practice will lead to the serenity of your inner-being. Here you will discover a deep abiding restfulness within you.
One breath at a time.
When you’ve finished the practice take note of the ways that restlessness showed up in your practice. For me this usually shows up as: planning my day (or the next week), thinking of the 7 people I still need to respond to by text, suddenly realizing my head and elbow are itchy and I certainly can’t forget to write down bananas on my grocery list. God forbid I forget the bananas!
As you can see, these thoughts are quite automatic, but also not very important. They do not need to be acted upon or responded to immediately. And that is the practice. Learning the art of fully completing one thing before rushing off to the next thing is the essence of living in restfulness.
The practice is not fancy or glamourous. It is something far more profound than that. When we embrace our restlessness, we also embrace our fears, uncertainty, vulnerability, and sadness. And also? We embrace our wholeness, and discover the light and serenity and restfulness beneath it all.
Try starting each day with this practice. Return to it next time you feel unfocused, ungrounded, or in need of a reset.
May you embrace the restlessness.
May you embrace the uncertainty.
May you embrace the discomfort.
And may you find true rest in the serenity of your wholeness.
Cultivating Your Inner Spring - The Garden of Your Soul
Ciao from Firenze! Spring has officially arrived here! I hope wherever you are the sun has found its way to you, too!
The blossoming flowers, the sound of birds greeting the morning sun, the smell of fresh earth as the grass replaces snow brings a lovely feeling of aliveness and renewal! As we transition into this new season, we are also invited to cultivate our own inner-blossoming.
Many people start their “spring clean up” by tidying accumulated clutter or digging out garden supplies. While this is beneficial, I believe spring has so much more to offer when we shift our energy towards cultivating an inner-spring clean up. Tending to our mind and heart like a garden allows us to blossom too, just like the flowers. Although I am not exactly known for my “green thumb” (ask any of my friends - I have been known to overwater my succulents!), luckily this gardening process doesn’t require any such skill. Phew! So, with that being said, below are the “gardening tools” you’ll need to plant the seeds of your own inner-garden. Are you ready to flourish?
There are 3 steps to the process:
1. Planting the seeds you want to grow (i.e. self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-trust)
2. Removing the weeds that are standing in the way (i.e. self-judgment, self-abandonment, self-doubt)
3. Tending the soil by nourishing your seeds (redirecting negativity with a truth statement).
Let’s get started!
1. Planting seeds.
The beautiful part is that you already have the seeds of everything you’d like to cultivate inside of you: kindness, joy, peace, serenity, compassion, love. Yet, sometimes these things get buried beneath our self-doubt, worry, or feelings of unworthiness. But you are the gardener of your own life; you can choose what you grow! These seeds merely need your attention, care and nurturing. So let’s get started on choosing what you want to nurture and grow. Below is a short exercise to help you choose your seeds:
Planting Seeds Meditation
Place one hand on your belly, another hand on your heart
Close your eyes
Inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth letting out a sigh.
As you exhale relax your shoulders and jaw.
Repeat 2-3 times and then ask yourself: what would I like to cultivate within myself? What needs tending inside?
When you soften and release your body, your heart will have space to speak up and it will guide you.
The answers are always inside.
Take a few moments for your answers to rise to your awareness.
These are your seeds.
Write down the seeds you’d like to cultivate, for example:
1. Self-compassion
2. Self-acceptance
3. Self-trust
Keep this list nearby; we will refer back to it soon!
2. Removing weeds.
Ok, now it is time to do some weeding. Your weeds are anything that prevent your seeds from blossoming. If the weeds start to overgrow, there is no room for the beautiful flowers to flourish in all their color and brightness. So what does this look like as it pertains to our own inner-garden? Perhaps you notice that you speak unkindly to yourself throughout the day; the weed of self-judgment is likely getting in the way of the seed of self-compassion. So in this step, you will identify what those weeds are for you so you can start removing the things that are no longing serving you. Your garden will reflect what you water—your seeds or your weeds.
Ask yourself: what weeds are growing in my garden? Are my thoughts and words kind to myself and others? Am I patient with myself and others? Are there negative beliefs I have about myself that I need to let go of? Write these down.
The weeds to remove might look like:
1. Self-judgment
2. Perfectionism
3. Self-doubt
The beautiful part is that, when we tend to the seeds within and remove the weeds, we naturally start to extend that same kindness, goodness, and compassion to all of those around us. In this way, each one of us has so much beauty to offer the world. Now let’s get into the final step to make sure our garden is well-nourished. (PS the good news is there’s no such thing as over-watering your seeds—unlike my succulents). Let’s start tending the soil!
3. Tending the soil.
In order for our seeds to take root and prosper, we must tend to the soil. We will do this with a truth statement. This will become your rebuttal anytime you notice that your thoughts, energy, or behaviors are watering the weeds. Think of this step as watering your seeds with kindness and love.
Everyone’s truth statement will be different. Choose one that resonates with you, one that you actually believe. It has to feel true for you in order for it to be helpful. This mantra strengthens what your seed needs in order to grow, while at the same time weakens the weed that is not serving the garden.
So let’s choose your truth statement! Refer back to one of the seeds you want to cultivate. Now choose a phrase that will help nourish that seed. For example, if your seed is self-compassion, your statement might be something like:
I am worthy of compassion and love. Inhale compassion, exhale judgment.
Or, if you choose the seed of self-acceptance, perhaps your statement could be:
I do not need to be perfect. I am lovable as I am. Inhale acceptance, exhale perfection.
Choose a statement that is true for you, and use it with your breath as shown in the examples above. This not only helps nourish your mind with truth, but also allows you to experience this practice in a felt sense through your breath—plants need oxygen too!
Now you have all of the “gardening tools” you need and you are well on your way to cultivating your own beautiful inner-spring Let’s put everything together in an easy format for your daily practice so that it is both simple and sustainable.
Daily 5 Minute Practice to Cultivating Your Inner Garden
Step 1:
Start each morning with the “Planting Seeds Meditation” to identify which seed you want to tend to that day. After choosing your seed, identify your weed. Next, create your truth statement and repeat it 3 times. This will start your day off in a way that mindfully nourishes the beautiful seeds within you!
Step 2:
Write your seed + weed + truth statement on a sticky note and place it in a few different locations that you’ll see throughout the day: your purse, car, bathroom, office, etc.
For example, your sticky note might look like:
Seed: Self-compassion
Weed: Self-judgment
Truth statement: I am worthy of compassion and love. Inhale compassion, exhale judgment.
Step 3:
Set designated times throughout your day as a checkpoint to bring awareness to your thoughts and notice what you’re watering. You can use an alarm to go off at certain times in the day, too. Use this as a reminder to re-state your truth statement. For example, before lunch, another in the afternoon, and again in the evening before you have dinner.
Remember, all of the seeds you are cultivating are already within you. You are merely tending the soil, and giving each one what it needs to blossom beautifully.
May you cultivate the seeds of love and compassion.
May you tend to the goodness inside you.
May you nourish your soil with kindness.
And may your own inner-garden flourish with the beauty that is you.
Buona Primavera - Happy Spring!
Ciao, Firenze!
Well, well, well, another life update!
You read it right! I have officially returned to my beautiful italia with a 6 month student visa. This time I will be studying in the iconic Firenze—Home of il Duomo, Ponte Vecchio, The Statue of David—and now mine, too? It’s incredible to think just how much my life has changed from two weeks ago!
As I write this I’m sitting in the garden just outside my apartment listening to the birds chirp, welcoming the arrival of spring. Each morning begins here. The day gently greets me with cool, fresh air as I breathe deeply. Feet on the earth, birds in the trees, air in my lungs. The cloudy skies of New York have been replaced by the warmth of the Tuscan sun kissing my skin.
My daily interactions are filled with the charm and friendliness of the Italian people and the culture. Perhaps my greatest feat is that I, too, have been mistaken by the Italians themselves as being a native! Until I open my mouth…LOL. Apparently my pronunciation—or perhaps my American accent—is a dead give away. Not to mention a few misspoken words. Apparently there’s more than one word for “bag” in Italian, so just as I thought I could confidently predict what the cashier would offer me at the counter—"una busta”—I learned there’s yet a different word for the same thing: un sacchetto. Oops. And also while we’re at it. In case you’re wondering where on earth the eggs are, I’ll save you ten minutes of time going back and forth around the milk and cheese: they are NOT in the refrigerated section! Quite often eggs can be found in the aisle with coffee or almond milk, sometimes near cereals and granola. Honestly, classic Italian style—each grocery store places them in different sections, just not in the refrigerated area. Take it from me, the americana, and I’ll save you time, confusion, and embarrassment!
My strolls along the streets have led me to stands filled with fresh fruits and vegetables…the vibrant colors look like candy from the earth (and, might I add…for a fraction of the price that I’m used to). My favorite finds have been strawberries, Sicilian oranges, avocado, and obviously the pomodori—NOTHING beats an Italian tomato.
My usual afternoon snack of yogurt was replaced by my favorite chocolate gelato. The creaminess, the richness, the depth of flavor… it’s not an exaggeration to say that each savored bite really is life-changing. No wonder Italians are known for enjoying the simple things…who wouldn’t when you’re amongst some of the world’s best food and scenery! Just yesterday I ate my lunch along the Arno River on a ledge near Ponte Vecchio as I watched people stroll by: students, locals, visitors alike. Some of the world’s greatest historical landmarks have become a part of my…daily norm?
Since I was a little girl, I carried an innate pride for my Italian heritage—just ask any of my friends! It was as instinctive to me as it is to eat. Perhaps it was the Italian charm of my dad—he had an unforgettable twinkle in his eyes—or his grand gestures when he spoke passionately or perhaps the mere fact that my beloved italia always felt like the place I belonged, even before ever visiting. As I sit here in gratitude and reflection, I still can’t believe it I get to call this place my home. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine anything different. Life just fits me here, like a glove.
And while I share my most recent update and the pursuit of my dreams, I remind myself daily that I did not, and could not, do this on my own. For this, I am humbly grateful. And I see it as a responsibility, too. I hope as I share my experiences, you not only get a taste of la dolce vita, but also discover your own inner awakening to answer the call of your dreams. Yes, your dreams are your own inner truth, beckoning you. Following that spark—that’s where the magic happens. This place of true aliveness is the life we were meant to live.
May you have the courage to dream big. Then dream bigger.
May you have the courage to believe in yourself. Then follow your heart.
May you have the courage to discover your inner truth. And then live it.
And may you always remember the magic is, and always has been, in you.
Our dreams make the world a better place.
the sacred in-between
Recently I’ve become increasingly aware of the oh-so-familiar feeling of inner-urgency.
The fear that there isn’t enough time.
Time feels so pressing.
It seems everything must be completed all at once.
There’s a sense of rush that washes over me as I wake each morning:
Get up
Do morning routine
Start with daily tasks
While I am deeply committed to living a mindful life
And embodying a state of being is truly a value
The condition of our minds can often act as a counter-energy to living peacefully
Despite our best intentions
Sometimes my own mindfulness practice can feel like effort
A practice to fulfill some desire within for peace and purpose
Giving sacred awareness to daily living is beautiful, isn’t it?
But the ego likes to attach outcome to this, once again
Despite our best intentions
This is ok.
This is not wrong.
This is part of the human condition
Like the clear reflection on a still pond, our mindfulness can act as a mirror.
Life becomes clearer.
We are invited to practice the beautiful art of living from our souls and not from the mental chatter.
For this reason, I believe the sweet sister to stillness is woven in the blessed in-between
Hidden in the transitional moments of our life.
The moment when we wake up before putting our feet on the floor for the first time each morning.
The moment of pause between each bite.
The moment just before we wash the soap off our hands to stop and smell the aroma - no matter how many times we’ve smelled the same fragrance.
The moment we realize that one pump of shampoo is sufficient, and we do not need more
The mindful, breath-focused transition between each yoga posture.
The subtle stillness that occurs between each inhale and exhale.
The slow transition between our seated meditation and moving forward to the next task.
The grateful pause when greeting a loved one with a hug just before letting go.
The in-between of walking to the car and driving or exiting the car and arriving.
In fact, these blessed in-between moments are about fully arriving in each moment.
Because this moment - each moment - is our life. And that is worth honoring deeply with our actions, and with our way of living.
The sunset is a beautiful reminder of this blessed in-between.
The final moments of daylight as fire-orange emanates one last time before surrendering to the evening sky
Flowing through life in this way, in the sacred in-betweens, is the antidote to that inner-urgency. This moment will pass whether we rush through it or not…and we will never relive the same moment twice. So why not live from that place of awareness, where inner-tranquility takes root?
These are the practices I continue to cultivate and I hope this awakens in you the same offering to live from inner-tranquility, rather than inner-urgency.
Because these very moments - the sacred in-between - are the gateway to a life that is fully lived.
May you enjoy the swirl of steam rising from a freshly poured cup of tea before taking your first sip.
May you seek out the sunset, and the wisdom of her in-betweens.
May you take moments of pause throughout your day to feel the rhythm of your soul - your breath.
May you look up to the stars each night before falling asleep to honor that this day was special, and a once in a life time.
May you live as though each moment matters, because it does.
Boosting Joy the Italian Way (and a life update!)
Well, well, well…it has been SO LONG since I’ve had the time to sit and be present here with my lap top and my thoughts to share reflections and updates! So many things have happened. Let me just take a metaphorical remote control, press fast forward, and catch you up to speed:
Because of my 90 day visa, my life in Italy had an expiration date which meant I had to leave at the end of November. This was a very hard reality for me to accept. As the end of November approached, the weight of leaving became heavier and heavier. After all, who would ever want to leave Italy!? I’d truly found my stride in Rome. My life had changed in so many exciting ways and my heart had never been fuller.
Here’s a snapshot of some of the most meaningful takeaways: the amazing people I met inspired me remarkably and learning about the different cultures and backgrounds expanded my view of life, beyond my own little world on this side of the ocean. We shared meaningful and laughter-filled conversations over 4 hour dinners, savoring each bite of pasta and tiramisu, and I learned a newfound appreciation for red wine (I’d never liked wine before…but shhh, don’t tell the Italians!). A “casual” night out was spent with friends talking outside the colosseum, which was utterly mesmerizing at night. I described it as “la candela di Roma” - Rome’s candle! And of course, learning the language and doing my best to practice and implement my learnings in “real time” as I went about daily life was both invigorating and humbling: from being greeted by the locals, to befriending the workers at the grocery store, to asking questions like “where is the bathroom” and realizing I could never remember the difference between left and right (a sinestra means to the left and a destra means to the right, in case you needed to know). These moments became daily sparks of joy for me. But most of all…I learned what it meant to fall in love with my life. This dream I had my eyes and heart set on was a new way of being that was life-changing, soul-enriching, and heart-filling.
Once my 90 day visa expired, I came back home, which, if I can be honest, felt like emotional whiplash: transitions and change are hard. One day I was living the reality of long-awaited dreams coming true and thriving and life being full of so many new experiences to being back home which felt a little bit like falling down from a hot air balloon. Thud. Although my life in Italy didn’t erase real life challenges, coming home was a drastic shift.
While I haven’t written about it publicly, my family had a recent loss in the family while I was away in Rome. Life altering events are never easy to process, but that, in addition to navigating some current health challenges and a recent mental health diagnosis, made coming back home and this holiday season even more challenging.
A first Christmas after losing a loved one has a prominent heaviness. There’s no avoiding the reality of the grief, sorrow, and ache. And those things aren’t meant to be avoided. Grief is sacred. In fact, the full spectrum of being human is sacred and I believe that is in part because life’s not always easy. The hard parts seem to contribute to life’s poignancy. I continue to learn that a meaningful life isn’t immune to trial and adversity. If we allow it to, suffering has a way of softening us, awakening deeper depths, and expanding our capacity to feel, understand, love and truly see others—even when we don’t fully understand our own suffering. (Note: I also believe joy has a way of transforming us too! See below for my strategies!).
While 2025 is on the horizon, I continue to reflect back on everything 2024 brought: immense and unforeseen hardship; diving deep into the trenches of a personal health scare and diagnosis; navigating heartbreak; losing a parent…to discovering more about myself and the deepest sense of belonging I’ve ever known; to learning the importance of surrender, the fragility of life, the importance of connection; to practicing the art of slowing down and experiencing true contentment; to expanding my capacity to feel it all. The highs and lows and everything in between! 2024 taught me so much and I am filled with gratitude for that.
While there are many other things I hope to share soon, I would like to finish with a few strategies I’ve started to implement that I’ve found helpful, especially on days that are more challenging or when I need the reminder of the true beauty and sweetness of life that is always available to me. These practices — inspired by the Italian way of life — have inspired me to take deeper root in a life that is more gentle, joyful, and richly meaningful.
Living the Italian way according to these 3 life philosophies:
La Vita E’ Bella:
This translates as: life is beautiful. Remembering this truth has helped me to focus on what’s truly meaningful in life. This has led me to a deeper appreciation for the importance of relationships, connection, and joy.
Ask yourself: What makes life beautiful to me? What reminds me of the beauty of life? Some examples for me include:
Watching a sunset
Writing a letter to a friend or loved one
Meeting up with a friend to walk in nature
Doing something spontaneous (either alone or with a loved one!)
La Dolce Vita:
You may already know this one! Ahh, the sweet life. This tradition reminds me to be more child-like. Why not get excited about a little treat after lunch? Or setting aside time to paint or partake in something that feels playful!?
Ask yourself: What makes life oh-so-sweet to me?
Some examples:
Un caffe con un cornetto (espresso and croissant) is classico in Italy! (Personally I enjoy a piece of chocolate. Do what feels sweet to you!)
Baking your favorite cookies and eating it mindfully while looking out the window
Trying a new restaurant or a new recipe
Eating your favorite childhood snack
Il Dolce Far Niente:
This translates as the sweetness of doing nothing. This goes against pretty much everything about American culture: REST! Prioritizing restoration has only ever made my life better and better.
Ask yourself: What does rest look like for me?
Some examples:
Physical rest: Prioritizing sleep is a great place to start.
Mind rest: a creative project or a social media fast
Heart rest: reconnecting with a hobby, watching a favorite childhood movie, making a vision board
Soul rest: a daily ritual of journaling, prayer, yoga, meditation, lying under a tree, grounding in nature
I hope you find these little ideas helpful in your own life, as they’ve become a way to live more intentionally for me. I like to take a little inventory of myself daily and ask myself: which of these life philosophies will be most supportive for me today? Trust your instincts—you really can’t go wrong with any of these! And even though being human can be hard, I want to remind you:
Dreams are possible.
Healing happens in the present moment.
Being is more important than doing.
Life is a wonder.
Ci vediamo presto - We will see each other soon!
And until then - buon anno - happy new year!
With love and serenity,
Colleen
Ciao from Roma! (Espresso meditation)
I open the cupboard. The smell of coffee immediately reaches my nostrils. I grab the bag of coffee grounds. The aroma is rich and indulgent.
I fill the bottom chamber of my moka pot with water, careful not to overfill. Just enough.
With my small little espresso spoon, I fill the filter basket with coffee grounds, just over the brim to ensure the flavor is strong and all-consuming. Just how I like it.
I screw the top and bottom chambers, putting it all together like a puzzle.
Click, click, click.
The stove flickers.
Flame.
I carefully place my moka pot in the center.
I don’t walk away. I stand there. I feel my feet on the ground. I feel the excitement and joy surge as I imagine the taste of my Italian espresso just minutes away from reaching my lips.
Every morning is the first espresso of my life.
I wait to hear the sound of coffee bubbling out of the funnel.
I lift the lid just in case it has already started cascading out without my noticing. Not yet. I close it shut again.
Then the moment comes. I hear the coffee bubble. I let it rise almost to the top, then turn off the heat. I wait just another moment to let it settle.
Pot in hand, I pour the steaming goodness into my ceramic tazzina.
I step outside to my balcony overlooking the Italian terrace.
The cool air greets my skin with freshness, awakening my energy and my senses. Each breath filling my lungs with the precious gift of another morning.
Small sip. Each one savored.
I feel a deep sense of solitude and connectedness all at once as I listen to the sound of Rome waking up.
This, to me, is living deeply.
And once again, I learn:
Life, truly, is meditation.
